Will McDonald standing proudly like a lycra-clad Odysseus between Scylla and Charybdis - it's a powerful image. Does he soak his foot in a bucket of his own urine or smother it in refined Emu fat?

The final long runs last weekend were a curate's Easter egg. While some went terribly, others were disastrous.

Over the past few weeks Will has eased himself right to the front of the pack through sheer hard work and indomitable will power. So when, an hour in to his big one, he felt the skin coming off his heel and the wound starting to seep through his sock, he naturally carried on for another twelve miles. The result is gruesome and bears comparison with Rhys' shark bite from Week One of the Diary. 

By Tuesday morning the craters in the blister were widening and Will decided to pick our brains on treatment options. When Sarah suggested Emu oil we thought it was a wind up, but no.

Emu oil is in made from refined Emu fat. This means that the fat of the Emu is put through a refining process, not that the Emu is particularly sophisticated. 

Sarah explained that the oil has been used for thousands of years by aborigines for the treatment of burns, wounds, bruises, and as a pain reliever for bone, muscle, and joint disorders. Now she tells us! We are going to tether a couple of Emus to back of the 2CC van - they can run at up to 30 mph but won't need to - and we'll work out how to extract the fat and refine it in the downtime between the end of the Paris Marathon and the start of the cycle.

Giles is never one to be outdone and, perhaps feeling a little miffed at the attention being drawn away from his bronchitis - which has now developed into a full blown blocked nose - countered with the suggestion that Will should soak his foot in a bucket of his (Will's) urine. This is also not a wind up - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine_therapy.

Will is thinking that a skin graft might be a better option.

Rhys has yet again shown himself to be the sharpest tool in the box. He has managed to obtain medical advice that his marathon race strategy should be to jog slowly and/or walk. Why didn't we think of that?!

The auction is coming together nicely. As well as our ten main lots, we have some top silent auction items. It is pathetic to see how excited grown men can get at the sight of a signed football shirt, particularly with the likes of Watford, Stoke and Manchester City. We also have a signed Arsenal shirt AND a signed Arsenal ball for all you Gooners out there. There are plenty of goodies on offer and it's going to be a great night SO PLEASE PUT 16 APRIL IN YOUR DIARY!!

The "muffin top" reference in last week's diary puzzled many of our older readers. The expression, which was used in the context of Seb trying on our tight new running top, is a generally pejorative, slang term used to describe the phenomenon of overhanging flesh tumbling over the waistline of trousers in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing. We hope this clears things up, but in case it doesn't, here is a picture of a blueberry muffin alongside a photograph of Seb in his running top. If you can't see a photo of Seb in his running top it shows that censorship is alive and well.

With only ten days to go, final preparations are under way. Leon has taken responsibility for getting the bikes serviced which hardly seems necessary as some of them have done less than three miles and the cases of gels, powders and jelly beans are on their way.

The word of the week is "diclofenae sodium".

Diary is now sick with worry and it's only going to get worse before it gets better...