7 April: Day Two

Paris to Vernon: A day of disasters...

A day of high drama, unbelievable tension, huge bad luck but, above all, victory.

The day began with Will successfully directing the group out of Paris... well, kind of. First, Seb wiped out twice within 250 yards of the hotel. The first was due to incompetence. The second was due to his wheel falling off. During this debacle, John D got blindsided by a truck but bravely soldiered on.

We then had a masterstroke of luck as we befriended local cyclist, Jean-Pierre, on the outskirts of Paris to take us out those extra few miles. Due to the kit, he mistook us for a professional team of cyclists. He soon realised our limitations as Rob flipped himself over his handlebars. Thankfully he wasn’t wearing his clips so just got back on his bike.  However, the drama worsened as Rob’s bike broke down a few miles later. We stopped for a double espresso and bread while we waited for the support vehicle. The prognosis was bad and after some deliberation, Rob was given John P’s bike (poor John P is still down with a fever).

Surely, the bad luck would end here? We split into two pelotons for efficiency. The leading pack consisted of Will, Conrad, Giles, Leon and Pat set off at a good, confident pace. The second fastest group (we are trying to speak positively) consisted of Angus (taking more than one for the team), Rob, Rhys, John D and Seb. They finally got their drafting working when John D’s bike packed in due to a seized crank. After over an hour, it was decided that the support vehicle would drive John D to the nearest shop while the others cycled off. Obviously, bad luck didn’t stop there and as we were about to set off, Rhys noticed his bike had the same issue. There was no persuading him to try his bike out. Within one second Rhys proudly announced “well that’s it, I’m in the van”.

Angus led the remainder of the second fastest group on a direct route to the hotel. This is where the journey falls into complete disarray. In the leading pack, Pat had the same crank issue and at this point, blackberries and emails were ignored as everyone went about concentrating on survival.

Angus, Rob and Seb’s journey

It was all going well with Angus following his tom-tom when Seb fell over again faced with the prospect of a rather large hill. Cut and bruised, he walked the hill. They then carried on again until Angus hit a tiny stone and punctured his tyre. While he mended his tyre, Rob kept him company and Seb walked a bit of extra mileage. They then finally ended up in Vernon and set about finding their hotel, Mount Vernon, so-called due to the fact it is on the side of a mountain. Having found a second wind due to the thought of a hotel bed and some food (the group were absolutely starving), they powered up the hills surrounding Vernon but when they reached the top, they realised the tom-tom had got them hopelessly lost. At this point, they all lost their sense of humour.  As they set off back down the hill and up another, Seb fell over for the fourth time and announced that the only reason he wasn’t throwing his bike into the middle of the road was that someone might need it tomorrow.

It was at this point they saw the support vehicle. It was love at first sight. With food and fruit, the three boys cycled back up the hill and made it back to the hotel. It was 6pm and they realised they had not had any lunch.  If you thought that was bad...

Rhys and John D’s journey

Once we decided we had no option but to get the bikes fixed Rhys and I were bundled into the back of the van by Neil and Brad and driven to Decathlon to see if we could get the bikes fixed.

Whilst waiting for them to be repaired, we amused ourselves by buying big red woolly hats and letting Roberto warm up for this evening's torture session by hammering us on the shop floor. He appeared to enjoy himself.

With the bikes fixed and our wallets 150 Euros lighter, it was time for further imprisonment in the back of the van amongst bags, bikes and GO gels before we met up with Giles and co once more.

Giles, Conrad, Pat, Leon and Will's journey

For the renegade party, things were going relatively well until Pat's bike was struck down by the same crank, botton bracket, thread issue that plagued John's and Rhys's bikes. Stranded 4 miles from the nearest village, many thoughts went through the minds of leon, Will, Conrad and Giles...leave Pat where they were, throw him into the bushes to the mercy of the nearby wildlife in a modern day replay of Joseph and his technicolour dreamcoat. In the end, the better side of their human nature prevailed. After some stretches . . . . .

. . . . . and a few failed attempts by Conrad to boost morale with some truly appalling jokes, Leon hatched a cunning plan to hail down a passing French van, bundle Pat and the broken bike into the back and hope that he was taken to the nearest garage. In truth, we thought that there was a 50:50 chance we may never see him again and so there was much rejoicing when we met up with him again, safe and sound 25 minutes later (see photo below of Giles and Pat sitting near the garage).

Bike repaired, the boys put down a serious 8 miles without incident, stopping at a boulangerie to devour almost the whole shop. At that point they were joined by John D and Rhys, with Neil, Brad and Roberto. The enlarged group then proceeded to knock off a good 32 miles, with what Will described as some poetic and aesthetic drafting. The hill to the hotel was less poetic and just plain ugly, but the boys were glad to join the others and the eagerly anticipated grotesque pain of a Roberto massage.

The photo below sums up the day. For more pictures see our Photo section